Barf Bag or: How I Met My Husband

Today is my wedding anniversary.

Flashback

I had moved back in with my parents. They lived in a nowhere suburb. Nothing but single family homes with parents and kids. No single guys or any singles at all. No way to get anywhere except to drive and driving terrified me. Plus I wasn’t someone who would go to a singles group online or off. In desperation, I looked at some singles ads in a small, local paper. It was set up so you could reply to a mailbox number, anonymously. No need to use your name, address or phone number. I replied to five ads. Three of the recipients wrote back. One was barely semi-literate, one had more muscle than brain, and one was way too old.

A week or so later on a friday, I heard back from another one. He was a musician, lived about an hour away, did not sound like a jerk and had provided his phone number so i could call him. His letter said he usually was out performing on weekends, so I waited until the next week to call, figuring I’d just hang up if it was uncomfortable. We talked for a bit and he wanted to meet. That made me uncomfortable and I started to hang up. He said, “wait!” and we talked some more until I was a little less uncomfortable. His idea: the next saturday he had an hour or two before he had to go to a gig. He’d come out to my parent’s house, pick me up and we would go to lunch at a place about five minutes away. I agreed.

I didn’t have an airplane barf bag around, so i made one out of a paper lunch bag. As he walked up to the house, I stuck it out the door in case he needed it when he saw me. The first thing he said was, “put that away”. We went to lunch. he had also been “desperate” and did the singles ad because he got a free listing. His mailbox filled up with replies but mine was the only one he liked. He said my letter actually sounded like someone talking. The others provided complete info (including revealing pictures), but mine had no way of contacting me unless I called him. He was depressed when I didn’t call right away – but his letter had said weeknights were better!

After that, we talked on the phone for hours every night. Each weekend he drove out to my parent’s house and stayed in the spare bedroom. My parents loved him. One of the saddest things about his “desperate” situation was that whenever he’d make a funny comment to a girl, she’d give him a puzzled look and say, “what do you mean by that?”. Pathetic, considering how hysterically funny he is. Every week by the time he left my parent’s house I had pain in my stomach and face from laughing so hard.

We got engaged on Halloween and married February 11. I designed my dress and the wedding invitation. When his family and friends received the invitation, they all thought he had done it. When he informed them that it was all me, they smiled and said, “ahhhhh”.

He’s my best friend. No one is perfect and wonderful 100% of the time, least of all me. But he has more integrity, honesty and loyalty than anyone I’ve ever known. He’s caring and compassionate, outwardly almost pensive and reserved, yet hilariously funny. Plus he has an uncanny ability to understand and tolerate difficult people. Ahem. The biggest laugh during our wedding ceremony was when the pastor referred to us as “two unique people”. And we still are.